Religious Solicitation- We Bring the Party to YOU

ACT NOW

We interrupted your peace and solitude 

so now take advantage of 

HUGE SAVINGS

 for 

YOUR SOUL 

conveniently brought right to your door 

in the privacy of your own home!!!

You totally can't even yell at us, because we're smiley old people!

Don't be fooled by imitators

Do not sell your soul to the devil!  

Commit to surrender - offer it voluntarily

to God

please see pamphlet

Certain restrictions may apply.

God's promise - Rainbows

This offer is not valid if you are: Atheist, Agnostic, not Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, a stem cell, Animist, Ancestor Worshipper, Stone Mason, Asatrú, Bahá'i-ist, Brahma Kumarist, Rational, a Witch, Celtic Pagan, Confucianist, Divine Lightmissionist, Sciencer, Chinese, Druid, Druid's assistant, General Druider, General Druider's assistant, Dualist, Engaged in Research, Ebionite, Educated, Eckankarist, Subway sandwich artist, Catholic, Gnostic, French Nationalist, Gay, Hare Krishna, Jedi Knight, Mithraisist, a sitting princess, Native American, Occultist, Pagan, Pantheist, Bigwig OR Hazel, Raja Yogist, Rastafarian, Sodomizer, Santeríst, Satanist, Scientologist, Previous Contestant on America's Next Top Model, Shaman, Shinto, Gordon Ramsey, Taoist, Voodoo Master, Necromancer, Theologian, Homosexual, Vegetarian/Vegan, Pro-Choice, Reasonable, etc.

ACT NOW

Pre-Apocalypse Sale

Use offer code "four horsemen"