Hey there, what's up. I just had a 30th second 29th birthday! Look at me, I'm almost grown up!
Actually, a few weeks ago I got really sick and so my otherwise impeccable blogging, diet, and running regime took a major hit and I am now fat and saggy, and definitely feeling like I'm 29 again. UUUUUUUgh. Okay well anyway. Here is my spouse and I, out at dinner where we enjoyed fine tastes and fine company. Anyone else live in Montana? We ate at the Silk Road, which is basically our go-to fine dining restaurant, at least when Scotty's Table is closed which it is on Mondays because apparently Scotty's Table thinks it's an ART MUSEUM. That's how classy they are. They're so classy they're closed on Mondays.
My part has meandered over to the far left of my face, just like when I was a toddler. This either indicates that I'm still young like a joyous little fledgling, or it means my body is retreating towards death, and it'll be diapers again in just a few short months. Well. Maybe they make a cream for that.
So then we went bowling even though I haven't done that since I was in Girl Scouts, -brownie scouts? Was that what that was called? I hated those bitches. That should have been my first clue that I wouldn't be hanging out with girls much later in life. They just talked about cookies and hair and who was using all the colored construction paper! Guess who it was? It was me! Because I had a vision, dammit, and not even a weird face or detrimental shyness was going to get in the way of that! Which I suppose remains the case today, nearly three decades later.
We were pretty classy about it, though. The bowling I mean. Several days later, I still have The Big Lebowski theme music stuck in my head. While we were playing, I was pretty much pretending that I was a semi-competent gangster do-gooder who could look awesome bowling, though none of that ended up being the case in this particular situation. A nice lady came out from the bar and gave me a free shot of tequila to celebrate my birthday. She said something about how it sucks to celebrate only with guys, which is what I was doing, and I didn't understand why I needed to take a shot about that. But then, the Girl Scouts ruined me to women so... Oh also it's Montana.... so maybe she thought I was a multi-mannned whore. Huh. I hadn't thought of that.
Well anyway. I am a whore for one man and one man only, and that man is the slickest looking bowler this side of the Mississippi, and not just because he's holding all the beer.
I mean also, look at that concentration.
So then we commenced with our awesome Big Lebowski-ness.
I have awesome shoes!
And awesome friends.
OH YEAH! So the reason this blog post exists is because my Dad got me a new digital camera!!! I am so freaking excitE you guys! This will open a whole new avenue for what I can do here.
You will soon learn that I have a big hard-on for blurry photos.
Here's another, isn't it GLORIOUS? I could desktop background the shit out of this shit. (Don't tell my Mom I talk like that.)
In my nearly three decades on this earth, there are some things that I have learned about life. I would like to briefly share those with you here.
1. Shuck your pride and just say you're sorry when you've done something wrong. Try not to do it again, and forgive when forgiveness is needed. You will save yourself a lot of trouble and heartache if you just do it right off the bat.
2. Don't get stuck in a habitual view of self pity and victimhood. Fate brings what it will, and we may be dealt a terrible hand from time to time. But choice is something you will always have, so if you're living a hell, then make the choice to stop doing what isn't working for you.
Oh yeah, and don't complain about things, that's just annoying to everyone else.
Unless you're Graham or myself, and you/I are gossiping about annoying habits of people we know. Hmm? No we don't do that. And neither does anyone else......
3. Don't hurt others, or at least try your best. (but say you're sorry if you accidentally do!)
4. Have make-up sex before the fight. That way, by the time you bring it up for discussion, you're not irrational and angry about it. You can just say, "oh hey I wanted to let you know that ______sort of bothered me. I know you didn't mean it that way, but just be mindful that it can come across as hurtful when you say it," and your lover will say, "oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I will do better," and then you can have second make-up sex to make sure the healing is complete.
I think I read that in the Bible. There's like a whole section on healing.
5. And have fun. Not everything has to be as serious as you insist on making it.
Uuh, oh and yeah. I believe I have referred to this blog/page as a web comic on occasion, but as you will see, I'm not entirely sure what it is yet. It's going to be a series of things, highly visual in nature. If you know me in real life, you will probably think less of me after reading my posts because I give an inaccurate portrayal of prudery and unwavering compassion for my fellow man. I guess that implies that the alternative is that I am a multi-manned whore who hates a select group of planetary residents. That's not accurate either. As stated earlier, I am a whore for one man, (though that doesn't mean that he can whore me out) and I am rather fond of the company of most non-predatory and/or non-scaled animals.
And here's our band photo.
YAY! Look at how much fun it can be to be 29 again! You can do it too! You can be anything you want to be.
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